Thoughts Unsaid, Then Forgotten # 4.

In the shadow...

I came up from the dark 

Without you,

And every day since

Has been in shadow...

Worst comes to worst, my peoples come first.

Sometimes you meet people randomly and before you know it they somehow find themselves a warm spot in your heart. They crawl under your skin and you just know they are there to stay.

I have a friend like that. He lives abroad so I don't get to see him that often, once a year is a luxury. I don't call him to tell him about my problems with a bad cupcake frosting recipe, boys or a bad hair day, but I just KNOW he's there in case I would ever need him.

So last week he came to visit. He had some work to do in my town and decided to stay another day to kick it with me and and my friends. We had such a good time and I realized once again how cool he is and how happy I am to have been introduced to him a couple of years ago. Little did I know then that he was gonna take that little, warm spot in my heart.

Hooray for friends like that! I hope they know how special they are to me. :)

Worst Comes to Worst, My Peoples Come First - Dilated Peoples

xoxo

I'm just a Dreamer...

....but I'm hanging on.  :)

What a lovely track by The Tallest Man on Earth, check it!

xoxo

 

Mr. X, I Still Remember...

This song by Bloc Party reminds me of Mr. X or as my friend likes to call him 'Mr Missed Chance'. 
There was friendship. And there was love. There was fear. And confusion. Then he moved to a far, far away land and it feels like he took a piece of me with him...


I, I still remember
How you looked
That afternoon
There was only you

You said it was just like a full moon

Blood beats faster in our veins
We left our trousers by the canal
And our fingers they almost touched
You should have asked me for it
I would have been brave
You should have asked me for it
How could I say no?
And our love could have soared
Over playgrounds and rooftops
Now every park bench screams your name

I kept your tie
I'd have gone wherever you wanted
And on that teacher's training day
We wrote our names on every train
Laughed at the people off to work
So monochrome and so lukewarm
And I could feel our days where becoming night
I could feel your heart beating across the grass
We should have run, I would go with you anywhere
I should have kissed you by the water
I still remember...

Images by Owlin Love, Kari-Shma & Hope Azul.

A Happy Thought A Day #5.

I get lost in the beauty of everything I see.  :)

I Love You Because...

I just couldn't deny you guys this collaborative photo project 'I Love You Because...' created by Alexander Warnow, a San Francisco based Photographer. 

Alexander started the project asking people to complete the phrase, I Love You Because...and put it in a photo while trying to focus on the emotion rather than the person (so no faces are used in the photos). 

Many people got their creativity flowing and uploaded tons of wonderful images explaining why they love their loved ones in many, many different ways. Alexander decided to pick 33 photos and stories behind them and put them in a book, next to a portrait of the maker.

Needless to say, that resulted in a lovely, must-have book for every dreamer out there :).

If you got inspired and feel like creating your own 'I Love You Because...' photo and let that special person in your life know why you love him/her, get to work and upload it here! 

I know I will ;). 

  

Hello again.

It's been a while guys, but I'm back!

Sad eyed or not, this time I'm here to stay ;).

x

F.E.A.R.

When in London, I could entertain myself for hours in the bookshop Borders in Oxford Street. Unfortunately that place doesn't exist anymore...so sad.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, in Borders, I stumbled upon this book 'A Piece of Cake: A Memoir' written by Cupcake Brown. Of course I had to get a book written by someone named Cupcake (*duh*).

However, the book wasn't anything I expected reading the cover only. Its bizarness made a deep impression on me and some of the sayings from it stayed with me till today (and these days not many things do ;)).

One of them was Cupcake's saying on fear: ''Always remember the acronym for "FEAR" can mean one of two things: Fuck Everything And Run or Face Everything And Recover."

Little I knew that one day while looking for words of comfort a Cupcake would be there to save the day...once again. ;)

Ian Brown - F.E.A.R. & the U.N.K.L.E. Remix 

"Fantastic expectations  

Amazing revelations  

Finding everything and realizing

For everything a reason  

F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)" 
 

Inside a Bubble.

Not too long ago I realized that I was, and still am, in a bubble! I got in it and I saw it growing larger and larger, rounder and rounder as we filled it with a breath of air. Yes, WE. ;)

Then this bubble broke free. It sprang lightely up into the air. Before I knew it a breeze came along and away it sailed, over the city... as it sang ''This is The First Day of My Life....''

I felt the sun shining on our bubble's sides as they glistened with all the colors of the rainbow.

The bubble wants to go, and do, and see. It is having such a wonderful time!

And nothing seems to worry the bubble. It just sails along, now high, now low, still shimmering with the colors of the rainbow, as happy as the air which filled it and surrounds it.

Perhaps, anytime now this bubble will burst, for shimmering bubbles never last very long, as everyone knows.










But I'm quite sure it will burst with happiness, and scattered little rainbow bits of joy, like tiny diamonds, all along it's happy way.

Things that made me smile today.

1. Bubble tea yummie!
2. A lovely mini pink (!) cupcake *aaawe*
3. Music that expresses what I cannot find words for
4. Amazing friends that miss their flight back home and take time to have cookies & tea before deciding what to do next (no panic in this disco!) 


:) 
 

Mr. X.

You are the reason I draw stupid little hearts in my notebook...

Omergazam photography.

Dear Girls & Boys,

Please let me introduce to you this Tucson based photographer Omer Kreso aka Omergazam. I *heart* the way he sees the world through his lens. Check out his work, you won't be disappointed! There's fashion, street, rock 'n roll, friends, silly self portraits, family, pets, random ridiculousness, bathtubs & even some bathtub loving (he had me there! :)).

You might feel like a voyeur at times, but isn't soul - voyeurism the new black? ;)

Enjoy it!

xoxo

A Happy Thought A Day #4.

'A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.' 


So get to it girls & boys! :)

I can't help but wonder.

Mixtape for Mr X.

The other day I made a mixtape for, well, let's call him Mr X.

Songs that make me think of him with words that say what I'm not saying.

But I didn't give it to him...


...just yet ;).

In A Manner Of Speaking.

'So in a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That just like you I should find a way
To tell you everything
By saying nothing...'

This song by Nouvelle Vague is just so breathtaking....and a perfect soundtrack for a lazy Sunday afternoon like this one.

A Happy Thought a day #3.

Sunday Blues.

A Happy Thought A Day. #2

''If you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.'' 


A cliché? But of course! After all, it is a quote from 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho, but oh boy, a happy thought it is! 

:)

You guys.

It strikes me every time I see that you guys are checking up on me from all over the world!

Please feel free to come here and share your sad, happy & random thoughts, after all this blog has been created because of my lack of communication with the rest of the world about certain 'issues'* ;).

I am sorry if I sound too depressed at times, but after all this is a place where I get to be THE Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands if you catch my drift ;). See it this way, once I leave some of my thoughts here, I get to clear my head and be my happy self again!

Thanks guys.

Muchos love,

xoxo

* aka me trying to protect (the reputation of) that 'special' person.

Auch! My past keeps biting me in the ass. A-S-S. Ass. Ass. Yes, I said ass.

I know I keep repeating myself with 'Let Go', 'Let Go', 'Move On' & 'Let Go'. I think I mostly keep telling those things to myself though. Sometimes I manage to let go, but most of the time I just don't. And that sucks. Today I realized that I don't because I was confronted with something that I should have ignored, but I didn't. I stayed. I watched. I read. And here I am. Returning to my secret, safe haven where it is okay to feel 'this' way.

I hate the fact that I know him so well and still choose to misread the signs. He might say he is sorry, but he is not sorry, he is just happy that HE is doing better. I hate the fact that he does the things he does and that he still gets to me. I hate the fact that I am in a place where I should be happy and I still choose to be miserable because of the things he did and the same things that I accepted back then.

I hate the fact that I am still an open book to him and he chooses the lies, or the unsaid which might be even worse.

So every time I have to DJ I play a record for him, 'When the Sun Goes Down' by Arctic Monkeys. People dance to it without listening to the lyrics. It's a great tune, but also a very sad one. I bet that they wouldn't be dancing if they knew his story. The story that unfortunately got to be my story as well and that keeps haunting me. But I guess it's hard to care about that while enjoying a sunny Carribean beach huh? Well, I get that. So once again I get to be the one that gets it. Great.

Oh how I wish to wake up one day and forget that he was ever in my life.

Happy New Year.

Keep dreaming girls & boys!

xoxo